The Tales of John

I haven't written tales about John in a couple of weeks, but don't think that is because I don't have material.  John always gives me material.  Just when I think he could not possibly do something else funny, interesting or outrageous, John decides to prove me wrong.  My goal isn't even to document only the outrageous moments, but to simply give you all a glimpse into our everyday life.

About a week ago, I was having some kind of argument with John that went something like this..."John, I said no."
"Well, I said yes."
To this I sat him down and explained that he was the child and I was the parent.  It was my job to tell him what to do and his job to listen and obey.  Later that day I heard Hans say, "John, I just said no." and John say  "I said yes, I'm not a child.  I'm three years old now!"  Yes folks, we have our hands full.  I've never heard of a child turning his parents words around on them at such a young age.  I just keep telling myself he will be a great adult.  That makes all the fighting now all worth it.

The last time a wrote I mentioned the terrible experience John had with the female nurse and the flu shot. I was pretty sure this would end the excitement of going to the doctor. We decided on Monday that it was time to go back in to the doctor.  This decision came about a few different ways:

1.  John was sleeping better at night, but was still having coughing fits 
2. John was actually asking for breathing treatments because he was having a hard time breathing.  It was actually very cute when he would say "Mommy, I think I need a breaving tweetment" as he was hacking in between each word. 
3. During the course of one of his coughing fits he threw up.  Now this wasn't the first time he has done this, but this time it was on my bed...that was the last straw!

So, I made an appointment to see the doctor and I made sure we were actually seeing the doctor this time.  Just as we thought, John did not want to go.  He cried the whole way to the office and before we got out of the car he said, " OK Mom, I'll go.  But only Dr. Englestad or Jeff (the Dr's PA).  No girls.  They hurt me."  After that statement he was fine and went willingly into the waiting room.  Thankfully the one male nurse on staff called us back to the exam room and John was doing well.  For some reason the nurse gave John his stickers before the Dr. came in.  John was sitting on the exam table putting the stickers on his shirt then taking them off and putting them somewhere else on his body.  When he started putting them on the walls and medical equipment I told him to stop or I would take the stickers away.  Did my son listen?  No, he's three, I think at this age it is impossible.  So, I took the stickers and put them in my purse and explained that he could get them back when we were done.  What came next was a new and rather challenging experience for me.  Doing what I'm assuming is his impression of the "mom glare" John pointed his finger at me and said " No, you give me those stickers back RIGHT NOW."  Knowing everyone in the office could hear us I told him not to talk to me that way and that he needed to settle down. To which he replied, "I said to give me those stickers RIGHT NOW."  Running out of options I told him I was going to call his father and proceeded to punch in Hans' number.  John started crying,"No, don't call my daddy."  While waiting for Hans to answer I felt a sense of relief that I now had a weapon to use when in situations like this.  I put Hans on the phone with a crying John.  Hans said a few words to John, then John told me he was sorry.  After we hung up with Hans, John looked at me and said, "Mommy, I am the child."  I'm not sure what Hans said, or how he said it, but I wish I had it on tape to use at a later date.

When Dr. Englestad came in, John didn't hesitate to let him look at his throat, up his nose, or in his ears.  Turns out our boy has asthma, which isn't uncommon for kids who have had a bad case of pneumonia so early in life.  The treatment for now is more frequent breathing treatments which are just the highlight of my day.  Notice the hint of sarcasm.  Albuteral Sulfate, the medicine filtered through the nebulizer, makes kids hyper.  I mean really hyper.  For about 30 minutes after a treatment, John who is usually so calm, is climbing the walls.  This is a very trying experience for all of us, but it helps to look at him when he is sleeping.  This is the only time of day he is still.